Getting to know JD

Do I talk about the kids too much?  I feel like I only talk about the kids. Whatever. I'm going to talk about the kid again. JD again. Because while both of the kids are on my mind most of the time, JD is the one I'm trying to figure out. Sometimes I can't believe how much anger comes out of his little body, mirrored by how much love he's capable of. If I want peace in our house I have to really pay attention to how I say things to him. I'm trying to learn to say 'yes' to him more, but sometimes its really hard. I think he has a list of "things mom said no to" that he refers to on a daily (hourly?) basis.

This morning started off rough but so typical.

1. He wakes. Sits at the top of the stairs sniffling.

Me: Hi JD, want to come down and snuggle with me?
JD: ...
JD: ...
JD: NEVER GET UP IN THE MORNING WITHOUT ME!!!!!
    (throws step stool down the stairs)
Me: Sigh....That's a new one.  Go upstairs, cuddle him. He tries to hit me. Hold him more so he can't lash out at me (I don't bother to tell him it's not okay to hit). Take him downstairs, wrap us both up in a blanket. Tell him he's like a caterpillar in a cocoon and when he comes out he'll be a beautiful butterfly. Seriously, this worked. He ended up in a much better mood. Go figure.

2. 10 minutes after breakfast.

JD: Mom, can I have a lollipop?

He asks for all kinds of food at times that I'm just not willing to accommodate. Typically this is how this scenario would go:

JD: Mom, can I have a cookie (lollipop, chocolate etc.)?
Me: No honey, it's still breakfast time. Later you can have one though.
JD: WAAAAAAAAAAA. YOU MAKE ME SO MAD. YOU ARE JUST STUPID! IF YOU DON'T GIVE ME A COOKIE THEN YOU ARE JUST GOING TO HAVE TO LET ME HAVE A LOLLIPOP.
         (Looking for something to physically lash out at, finding nothing kicks mom in the shin).
Me: Sigh........

But today I'm thinking. Today for once I'm the "mindful" mama. Instead it goes like this:

JD: Mom, can I have a lollipop?
ME: Yes, after lunch you can have one.
JD: Okay. La dee la dee la (runs off to play).
Me: (silently) EUREKA! I can't believe that worked. T and I exchange a look of astonishment across the breakfast table.

3. While I'm in the shower. Daddy is reading the newspaper. JD plays on the computer.

JD: AAAARG. MY INTERNET ISN'T WORKING. Dad, it's just NO fun when the internet isn't working.


I have no further comment, I just think it's funny.

4. It's raining. JD has just gotten dressed.

JD: Mom, can we go ride bikes now?
Me: (I really want to just say no, but thinking about how I can say yes)
Me: Yes, you can ride around in the garage because it's raining outside.
JD: Okay. Heads to the garage for 5 minutes. Comes in happy as a clam.


Some other stuff happened but the rest of the day was mostly a blur. I can't say I was nearly as mindful in the afternoon - my low time of day. There's always room for improvement. But I  think that I'm finally making some progress in figuring out who I need to be for this little guy to shine.